Don’t Say Your Children “don’t”

Children are naïve and ignorant, therefore they have limitless right to do wrong. Therefore we have to give them the right to make something wrong and then guide them to make it better and right. We have to support them to overcome the obstacles when they grow up. As parents, we do serious mistakes when we teach them what they shouldn’t do. When we tell them “I told you many times not to do it”, this sentence doesn’t make any sense to them. Especially at the ages 2-3, we say to children “don’t” in order to make them behave. There is nothing stronger to affect children badly.

What happens if…?

What happens if children do wrong? There is nothing to worry about. When children first start to walk, they fall a lot and it is quite normal. We say them too many “don’t”s to protect them. But, what can happen if they fall when they try to walk? They learn how not to fall.

Children grow up through falling down and standing up repeatedly. Then, they become more mature. This maturity brings patience, understanding and self-control with. In other words; the realization of boundaries and the understanding the importance of staying inside of these boundaries.

Children who doesn’t know the limits

Parents, especially mothers think freedom as an unlimited right for their children. However, freedom is actually something with very serious limits and rules that puts us into a certain frame. The appropriate thing for a child is not having unlimited freedom, it is understanding their limits and respecting the rules. But, do children have any responsibility in learning the limit? Like said before, no, we have to make them realize those limits.

Children doesn’t care what we say but how we say it. When child is walking with mother he runs, and falls down. Then turns back and looks at the mother and decides on crying or not depending on the mother’s reaction. So, parents shouldn’t intervene when they grow up and overcome the obstacles.

Don’t hold them

Children will fall down, naturally, but then they will stand up. Every time they overcome obstacles, they will feel the pleasure of success. It is important to motivate them. We should motivate them by saying “I can’t believe, you have done it wonderful” “Oh my God, did you clean your bedroom by yourself?” and we should believe in what we say. When you motivate them, they do the positive behaviour all the time in order to hear the praise again and again.

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